Hilaribad

Ewe Boll must be smokin' a lot to come up with this stuff. We never laughed so hard at a movie, and I mean at -- not with. There were tears in our eyes. I thought at one point Morgan, Ross, and Wayne were going to tumble out of their theater chairs and roll down the aisle quiet literally rolling on the floor laughing.

I am not even sure of most video game lore, or why Ewe Boll thinks games would make good movies, but let's start with the first problem. Dungeon Siege is really a terrible video game. I sort of liked the first part of it but always got lost in the ice cave.

The second problem here is that Ewe Boll doesn't know how to direct or anything, or train his actors to fit a real role, etc. There are all sorts of problems stemming from the fact that he fails from the get-go when it comes to movie-making.

Pretty much every single cliche comes tumbling down in this movie: revenge, rescue, killing bad guys, forceful platitudes, and Ray Liotta. Yes, I believe he is, all on his own, one of Hollywood's worst but most laughable cliches.

I'm just going to rehash some of the lines, and I think you'll see what I mean (imagine great warriors and trumpets):

Those who you fight, we will help you fight them.

Life... has never been more exciting!

Wisdom... is our hammer.

And finally, some conversation:

Muriella: I knew you'd come.
Gallian: I told you I would.
Muriella: I mean, I felt it. I felt it before you came.
Gallian: You are developing your powers well, Muriella. Our time together is paying off!